


When Pigs Fly

by allmilhouse



Category: Bob's Burgers (Cartoon)
Genre: Ferris Wheel Sex, Hand Jobs, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, mild arm porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-16 10:22:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14809514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allmilhouse/pseuds/allmilhouse
Summary: Calvin knew you can't get chicks with a hedge maze, but little did he know he could win over a chef with a simple water balloon fight and abandoned amusement park rideWeird ending thing for s5e21 The Oeder Games





	When Pigs Fly

The sun was slowly setting over the Fischoeder estate, but Calvin was on top of the world.

Bob Belcher took in the spectacular view from the top of the flying-pig-themed ferris wheel. He could see everything, from the hedge maze, to Felix's tree house, and even the bright lights from Wonder Wharf flashing in the distance. He whistled in appreciation, knowing how much his landlord loved impressing people. 

Calvin smiled, clearly pleased with himself. "Well, have you enjoyed yourself today, Bob?"

"Uhh," Bob hesitated. Honestly, it had not been a good day. He'd been hunted by his neighbors all afternoon, and although the rent strike threat had ultimately proved successful, it had taken a lot of effort to get there. But the whole town breaking out into a fun, loose, no-stakes water balloon fight afterward had been pretty great. "Yes," he finally answered. "I mean, my clothes are still soaked, and Lin has to come back for me later because she filled the car up with too much stolen food for us all to fit now-"

"What was that?" Calvin interjected.

"Nothing, nothing, I didn't say anything. But it was fun today, Mr Fischoeder. You throw a mean water balloon."

"It's all in the wrist," Calvin demonstrated, bending his wrist awkwardly.

"Yeah, I'm not that flexible," Bob laughed. It was only half a joke though- he really was quite stiff and sore from running all afternoon.

"Well, we'll just have to fix that," Calvin hummed, taking Bob's right arm in his hands. He turned it over slowly, appreciating it from every angle, rubbing his hands up and down the forearm. His fingers tickled Bob's heavy arm hair, and he had to stifle a giggle. Calvin smiled, but continued this thorough examination. "You have an excellent arm Bob, good musculature. Perhaps a little exercise might improve it."

Bob laughed again, looking down at his flabby belly, clearly visible through his soaking wet shirt. "Yeah, I do really need to work out. God, I'm so out of shape. It's hard though, finding time, when I'm running the restaurant-"

"We've got time now," Calvin interrupted. Bob glanced up to see Calvin was staring at him intently with his one good eye. His hands still held Bob's arm, and with his sleeves rolled up Bob could see the tendons flexing in Calvin's arms. His fingers still gently massaged Bob's arm, and his thumbs rubbed reassuring little circles on his skin. It was all very calming, and Bob was finding it difficult to resist.

"Uh, sure?" he said squeakily, not entirely sure where Calvin was headed with this, but determined to go along with it.

Calvin smiled toothily. "Excellent, Bob. First we need to flex your tendons," he started, spreading Bob's fingers out and rubbing his thumb against the flat palm. "Now, you need something a bit thicker to hold. Any suggestions?"

"Uhh, well-"

"Great idea Bob!" Calvin smiled again, dropping Bob's arm to slowly unzip his fly. Bob felt a little cold at the loss of contact, but he couldn't take his eyes off of Calvin. Those fingers that had been so delicate on his skin were now teasing him, deliberately taking a long time to free Calvin's dick. Finally, those devious fingers slid Calvin's purple satin boxers far enough, and they were back on Bob's arm, sliding up and down in a consistent pace.

"Just have to warm up your muscles," Calvin said throatily, catching Bob's eyes again. He had a deep gaze, and if it wasn't exactly warm, it was definitely intense. Bob found it difficult to look away, but then Calvin was moving his arm again, guiding it over. Bob instinctively wrapped his hand around Calvin's erection, and he stroked it once, out of curiosity. Calvin's hands tightened on Bob's arm, and he hissed slightly.

"You tricked me, Bob. You're much better with your hands than I initially thought."

"It's all in the wrist," Bob shrugged, before flicking his wrist again and getting a full-on moan out of Calvin. Bob counted that as one of the best sounds he'd ever heard, and did everything in his power to hear it again. He started a fast but thorough stroke, dragging his thumb underneath at a slightly slower pace. Calvin's hands were now firmly latched on to Bob's arm, holding him in place just a little too tightly, but Bob was undeterred.

Calvin was a difficult man to read sometimes, but he was incredibly open right now. Bob could see elation, frustration, and surprise cross his face, and could feel his racing pulse in his fingertips. It was very hot, despite the chilly evening breeze gently rocking their ferris wheel car, and Bob was transfixed by the whole situation. He kept his hand moving on instinct alone, thankfully, because his mind was a million miles away. The closeness, the sheer intimacy of the moment, was throwing him off, and his head was a vast and as empty as the darkening horizon.

As usual, Calvin brought Bob back to earth. The heavy breathing in his ear was turning into a low moan, and Bob doubled his efforts. He felt Calvin stiffen even harder, and then it was all over. Calvin leaned over the side, and Bob was afraid he was going to be sick, but the man yelled. He whooped and hollered loudly, the incoherent cries echoing over the vast estate. The attitude was infectious, and Bob joined in the cheering. He didn't always know what was going on in Calvin's head, but he was always ready to follow along.

"Oh Bob, thank you," Calvin sighed, trying to catch his breath. "I haven't done anything like this in years. It was exhilarating."

"It was fun," Bob agreed, "but I do have a question for you."

"Ask away, Bob. I'll tell you anything. You've earned it!"

Bob leaned over the side of the cart again. "How do we get down from here?"

"Ah."

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe that I wrote these two getting together on an amusement park ride again. Also I've been fighting with this for four months and I can't get it to make any more sense but I need it out of my life so post


End file.
